Just when I think I'm getting used to the weird way in which this country works... Dom and I both got emails on Thursday telling us that, because a budget agreement had not been reached between the Republicans and Democrats, the federal goverment would run out of money today, which is Saturday. Both the senate and congress had to agree a bill, and have the president sign it, by midnight yesterday. Apparently, this happened.
If a deal hadn't been reached, the craziest thing would have happened. All federal government operations, except of a few essential things, get shut down. So, the NIH would have been shut down: not only is it an offence to try to go to work when the government is shut down, but if they find out you've been doing federal work in your own time, you get something like a $10,000 fine.
I don't understand. I accept that politics here are pretty stupid and that the whole American system of governance seems designed to prevent any sort of progress or agreements being made unless all 3 legislative bodies are run by the same party. I find it amusing, but that's how this place is. But to actively prevent people from working, even for free, because a budget hasn't been passed is absolutely mental! As is having the capacity to fine employees for trying to do their job!
What happened is that the legislature passed a continuing resolution, a stop-gap measure which keeps the federal government running on current or reduced levels, for another 2 months. The budget they are fighting over is for the fiscal year which started in October 2011, so it looks like at least one third of the year will pass before there is a budget in place.
For my work-place this means that there will be enough money to pay our salaries, consumables and to feed my mice, but there will be little way to buy any big-ticket items or sign things like service contracts. This massively increases the costs to the tax-payers, which seems rather vulgar in these straightened economic times. Even if a budget does get agreed in February, it will only run until the end of September when this silly process will start again. Apparently this is pretty normal.
In any of the UK parliaments, or most of the ones in Europe that I know of, if a government can't get its budget approved by it's parliament / legislature, then it's taken as a vote of no confidence, the government collapses and there's a fresh election. It's a good motivation to put aside partisan differences and actually work in the service of the citizens (or subjects if you come from a silly country where they monarchy rules supreme and people have no written bill of rights).
How the US can get by with this permanent deadlock confuses me. It doesn't seem very efficient...
Saturday 17 December 2011
Sunday 27 November 2011
Black Friday, Black Squirrels
Coming to the end of this Thanksgiving weekend, I wanted to write a quick note on something that I find more than a little disturbing. I'm not talking about the Black Friday sales, where half of the US population hit the shops this weekend looking for bargains, occasionally shooting each other fighting over discounted tat trying to help rebuild the economy through rampant consumerism. Although the Black Friday shopping spree was bemusing, Friday was not the black thing that disturbs me. Well, to what black thing do I refer, I hear you ask? I'm talking about black squirrels.
Most people in the UK think that squirrels are cute, fluffy little creatures of happiness, bringing joy to parkland. Personally, I have always considered squirrels to be rats with good PR, although we did make a yummy squirrel casserole last summer. If people in the UK saw the black squirrels here, they'd think again. These creatures look very sinister as they watch you walk past with a malevolant glint in their eye, pretending to be innocently nibbling on their nuts.
I can see through their charade of cuteness though. Unlike other squirrels, black squirrels are organised, carnivorous monsters. They've even been known to form packs and hunt dogs, as reported by the BBC. Yesterday, we found one in our garden: it was hanging around the bird feeder trying to bully chickadees and robins. From the image below you can see that it was preparing to pounce on my wife, its little nose twitching with murderous intent.
If you come to visit from the UK, beware these evil creatures of the night!
Most people in the UK think that squirrels are cute, fluffy little creatures of happiness, bringing joy to parkland. Personally, I have always considered squirrels to be rats with good PR, although we did make a yummy squirrel casserole last summer. If people in the UK saw the black squirrels here, they'd think again. These creatures look very sinister as they watch you walk past with a malevolant glint in their eye, pretending to be innocently nibbling on their nuts.
I can see through their charade of cuteness though. Unlike other squirrels, black squirrels are organised, carnivorous monsters. They've even been known to form packs and hunt dogs, as reported by the BBC. Yesterday, we found one in our garden: it was hanging around the bird feeder trying to bully chickadees and robins. From the image below you can see that it was preparing to pounce on my wife, its little nose twitching with murderous intent.
If you come to visit from the UK, beware these evil creatures of the night!
Thursday 24 November 2011
Are you talkin' tae me, pal?
Although a lot of the things about the US seem quite alien, there's actually one aspect of USian culture I enjoy a lot because it makes me feel like I'm back in Glasgow. And no, I'm not talking about a growing obesity epidemic due a penchant for sugary, fatty foods (although that is also the case). In America, it is completely acceptable to talk to strangers, which is a stark contrast with the south east of England.
As Kate Fox notes in her excellent book, Watching the English, talking to strangers in England is an interaction that has to follow a very complex, predictable script, otherwise you run rough-shod over social conventions and cause enough trauma to make the English person need to have lie-down and a cup of tea. Acceptable interactions involve asking the time, complaining about the weather or crappy public transport system, or sharing a disapproving look if someone else breaks social norms and does something as appalling as skipping the queue.
(Note to Americans: a queue is something you wait in; a cue is stick that you use to hit small balls. Sort it out folks, it's not hard!!!)
In the US, no such conventions exist. To pick one example from many, Dom and I went for a walk in the park on Sunday as I wanted to take blurry and badly-framed pictures of birds with my posh new SLR camera. Their was a lovely woman walking her child and dog and we ended up chatting to her for about 20 minutes. Of course, because it's America, we also ended up with her business card, but that happens a lot here.
Occassionally, the talking-to-strangers thing does come with a risk of people massively over-sharing, and it's possible that you'll end up with a person's entire life, medical and personal history when all you wanted was a coffee and to quietly read your book in a public place, but you can learn to avoid these hotspots of self-obsession (e.g. don't drink coffee in Bethesda).
In the interests of fairness, I must point out that talking to strangers DOES happen in England. Generally, this only happens after drinking about 8 pints of social lubrication. In Glasgow, talking to strangers is fair game all the time, although some less kind people would suggest that is because Glasweigans are likely to have indulged in social lubrication at any time of the day. But these unkind people are generally found in Edinburgh, where the social norms are somewhere between the south east of England and Glasgow (sort of like Manchester, but less fun).
A positive one today. Perhaps it's because another good thing about America is the four-day weekend that they give us at the end of November, although I'd recommend staying away from free blankets. So, happy Thanksgiving, folks!
Mick
p.s. The day after I wrote my last blog post, some arsehole of a woman ran a stop sign and very nearly killed me on my bike when I was cycling home from work. I need say no more.
As Kate Fox notes in her excellent book, Watching the English, talking to strangers in England is an interaction that has to follow a very complex, predictable script, otherwise you run rough-shod over social conventions and cause enough trauma to make the English person need to have lie-down and a cup of tea. Acceptable interactions involve asking the time, complaining about the weather or crappy public transport system, or sharing a disapproving look if someone else breaks social norms and does something as appalling as skipping the queue.
(Note to Americans: a queue is something you wait in; a cue is stick that you use to hit small balls. Sort it out folks, it's not hard!!!)
In the US, no such conventions exist. To pick one example from many, Dom and I went for a walk in the park on Sunday as I wanted to take blurry and badly-framed pictures of birds with my posh new SLR camera. Their was a lovely woman walking her child and dog and we ended up chatting to her for about 20 minutes. Of course, because it's America, we also ended up with her business card, but that happens a lot here.
Occassionally, the talking-to-strangers thing does come with a risk of people massively over-sharing, and it's possible that you'll end up with a person's entire life, medical and personal history when all you wanted was a coffee and to quietly read your book in a public place, but you can learn to avoid these hotspots of self-obsession (e.g. don't drink coffee in Bethesda).
In the interests of fairness, I must point out that talking to strangers DOES happen in England. Generally, this only happens after drinking about 8 pints of social lubrication. In Glasgow, talking to strangers is fair game all the time, although some less kind people would suggest that is because Glasweigans are likely to have indulged in social lubrication at any time of the day. But these unkind people are generally found in Edinburgh, where the social norms are somewhere between the south east of England and Glasgow (sort of like Manchester, but less fun).
A positive one today. Perhaps it's because another good thing about America is the four-day weekend that they give us at the end of November, although I'd recommend staying away from free blankets. So, happy Thanksgiving, folks!
Mick
p.s. The day after I wrote my last blog post, some arsehole of a woman ran a stop sign and very nearly killed me on my bike when I was cycling home from work. I need say no more.
Sunday 20 November 2011
The Great American Dream (part one)
One of the most striking thing about Americans is their deep and profound love of the car. The usual clichés probably apply to an extent: the car is the ultimate embodiment of the American sense of freedom and convenience. And words cannot emphasise just how much Americans love convenience and freedom, even if that freedom is usually exercised only as the freedom to buy things.
As a European, I come from a country where the cities were built before the car was invented, so we have narrow roads, which are ample for what I considered to be normal-sized cars. But the cars here are absolutely huge! Below is the one we hired when we moved house a few weeks ago:
I don't know if this is purely a DC thing, or a general US thing, but the standard of driving here is absolutely terrrible! If I had a pound (or dollar) for every time I've seen a massive SUV fail to stop at the right place at traffic lights and be 2 full car lengths past the line, I'd have enough to buy a new lens for my camera. As a pedestrian or cyclist, there is nothing more annoying than having a massive car blocking the crossing, although shouting at them seems to be socially-acceptable here. However, this is a completely moot point because, well, there are no pedestrians and very few cyclists. Although it's illegal in the state of Maryland, I see many people driving whilst sending text messages and we even saw a guy with a laptop open on his dashboard. Absolutely crazy!! Which explains why so many cars have obvious signs of bumps and scrapes.
The public transport system here is bloody good - you can track the buses by GPS from your smart phone / computer so that you can time your arrival at the bus stop with minute-accuracy (did I mention that USians like convenience?). The bus is also cheap, with a $1.50 flat rate. However, it seems that, in general, only poor people use public transport - tell someone that you've walked more than a mile or got a bus, and they ask "Oh, is your car broken?". Quite a bit of the suburb we live in doesn't have any pavement (or sidewalk, if you're that way inclined), because there doesn't seem to be much demand. We live about 1 mile from the metro station, and people genuinely have asked us how we get there if we don't drive.
So far, we've resisted the American dream and have refused to buy a car, instead using our trusty Bromptons to get about. Alas, this whole country is built around the automobile and is massively spread out. Although the public transport system is great, it's only useful for ferrying people around places where they can be good capitalist-consumers and buy more stuff to keep the economy afloat. Ah well. I think a lot of people who know us are placing bets on how long it will be before we break and get a car - at least that's good motivation to hold out!
However, we did spend several hours yesterday trying to convert our driving licences to US ones. I refused to surrender my UK licence to get only a provisional licence here, so I now have a learner's permit and Dom has to supervise me for 60 hours driving over 9 months. The state of Maryland only recognises Candian, French and South Korean licences! Obviously there've never seen people driving in France!! Or perhaps that's the point!? Maybe countries like the UK and Germany have too many standards for driving, so our licences aren't recognised as we'd expect too much skill from other drivers!?
Of course, in this crazy country of extremes, nothing is quite so clear cut as I've laid out so far. At the NIH, where I work, there are 15,000 employees and the number who commute by bike regularly is only 600. Quite shocking. So although cyclists are very much the minority, they are a very vocal minority and have managed to get quite a lot done. There are some absolutely stunnnig trails connecting most of the different urban and suburban centres, so my 5 mile bike ride to work consists of being surrounded by stunning trees in Rock Creek Park and trying not to run over deer. Dom has a 15 mile cycle, and most of that is also off road with the excellent Capital Crescent trail, which connects Silver Spring to downtown DC. There's also a funky scheme called Zipcar, where you can hire cars by the hour - the scheme operates quite a bit like the Boris Bikes in London.
Although it's quite tricky to avoid buying a car, so far so good. Hopefully we can get by without one... our tune may change once the winter kicks off properly (still T-shirt weather there!), but we'll see.
As a European, I come from a country where the cities were built before the car was invented, so we have narrow roads, which are ample for what I considered to be normal-sized cars. But the cars here are absolutely huge! Below is the one we hired when we moved house a few weeks ago:
I don't know if this is purely a DC thing, or a general US thing, but the standard of driving here is absolutely terrrible! If I had a pound (or dollar) for every time I've seen a massive SUV fail to stop at the right place at traffic lights and be 2 full car lengths past the line, I'd have enough to buy a new lens for my camera. As a pedestrian or cyclist, there is nothing more annoying than having a massive car blocking the crossing, although shouting at them seems to be socially-acceptable here. However, this is a completely moot point because, well, there are no pedestrians and very few cyclists. Although it's illegal in the state of Maryland, I see many people driving whilst sending text messages and we even saw a guy with a laptop open on his dashboard. Absolutely crazy!! Which explains why so many cars have obvious signs of bumps and scrapes.
The public transport system here is bloody good - you can track the buses by GPS from your smart phone / computer so that you can time your arrival at the bus stop with minute-accuracy (did I mention that USians like convenience?). The bus is also cheap, with a $1.50 flat rate. However, it seems that, in general, only poor people use public transport - tell someone that you've walked more than a mile or got a bus, and they ask "Oh, is your car broken?". Quite a bit of the suburb we live in doesn't have any pavement (or sidewalk, if you're that way inclined), because there doesn't seem to be much demand. We live about 1 mile from the metro station, and people genuinely have asked us how we get there if we don't drive.
So far, we've resisted the American dream and have refused to buy a car, instead using our trusty Bromptons to get about. Alas, this whole country is built around the automobile and is massively spread out. Although the public transport system is great, it's only useful for ferrying people around places where they can be good capitalist-consumers and buy more stuff to keep the economy afloat. Ah well. I think a lot of people who know us are placing bets on how long it will be before we break and get a car - at least that's good motivation to hold out!
However, we did spend several hours yesterday trying to convert our driving licences to US ones. I refused to surrender my UK licence to get only a provisional licence here, so I now have a learner's permit and Dom has to supervise me for 60 hours driving over 9 months. The state of Maryland only recognises Candian, French and South Korean licences! Obviously there've never seen people driving in France!! Or perhaps that's the point!? Maybe countries like the UK and Germany have too many standards for driving, so our licences aren't recognised as we'd expect too much skill from other drivers!?
Of course, in this crazy country of extremes, nothing is quite so clear cut as I've laid out so far. At the NIH, where I work, there are 15,000 employees and the number who commute by bike regularly is only 600. Quite shocking. So although cyclists are very much the minority, they are a very vocal minority and have managed to get quite a lot done. There are some absolutely stunnnig trails connecting most of the different urban and suburban centres, so my 5 mile bike ride to work consists of being surrounded by stunning trees in Rock Creek Park and trying not to run over deer. Dom has a 15 mile cycle, and most of that is also off road with the excellent Capital Crescent trail, which connects Silver Spring to downtown DC. There's also a funky scheme called Zipcar, where you can hire cars by the hour - the scheme operates quite a bit like the Boris Bikes in London.
Although it's quite tricky to avoid buying a car, so far so good. Hopefully we can get by without one... our tune may change once the winter kicks off properly (still T-shirt weather there!), but we'll see.
Friday 11 November 2011
Breid - Plain or pan or sweetened?
I've been rather quiet recently, as we moved house and didn't have any internet until last week. Dom and I like to make our own bread, because store-bought bread is generally fluffy, air-filled rubbish that has no flavour, unless you want to pay several quid for a wanky, artisan loaf. When we first arrived in the US, obviously we had to buy bread until we had could find decent flour and yeast, and also live in a house where the kitchen was not infested with ants (don't ask!)
So we went to the supermarket, grabbed a loaf that looked reasonably decent and didn't think more of it. The next morning, I made a cheese and ham sandwich for breakfast. I bit into this sandwich. I was then somewhat startled with an unexpected explosion of sweetness in my mouth: unexpected explosions in one's mouth are not generally welcome at the best of times!
It turns out that, in the US, it's pretty much impossible to find a loaf of bread that has not had corn syrup, honey or sugar added to it. It's absolutely disgusting - bread should be a neutral medium upon which you build your desired outcome. If you want it sweet, add peanut butter and jam (urgh! Another weird North American habit). If you want your bread savoury, make toast or a sandwich. But, damnit, I reserve the right to choose how my bread should taste!!! I know Americans have a sweet tooth, but I hail from the land of deep-fried confectionary, and even we wouldn't do this to bread. And this isn't a case of me being a bread facist, honest! Another UKish person in Dom's work has been here for 5 years and still makes her own bread because she can't stand the sweetness of the USian stuff.
Of course, bread is an institution for me. Very few culinary experiences give me greater pleasure than a well-crafted loaf of bread, which I can easily demolish if left alone with some butter and toaster. Bread is beautiful, but what the Americans do to it is sacrilege.
Although they defile bread, however, they do have very pretty trees in the autumn.
Tuesday 11 October 2011
Gonnae gie's a wee swally...?
One of the things that Europeans like to do is look down on America as uncultured and lacking a certain refinement that comes with having about 1000 years of history behind you. The election of ol' George Dubbya did nothing to dispell this. One way in which this European disdain for America comes out is in beer and cheese snobbery, something I also have been guilty of in the recent past.
This snobbery, at least on my own part, was based on the "big" American beers like Miller, Coors and the Bud family. Although a sample size of 3 is sufficient to calculate a standard deviation and allow statistical inferences to be made, it is not necessarily a representative sample. So, purely in the interests of science, I have spent much of the last 5 weeks expanding my sample size to try and allow firmer conclusions to be made about American beer. Some people would call this being a piss-head, but as I was drinking in the innocent pursuit of fundamental truth, I call this field-work. In fact, I am doing field work right now, with a rather delicious Porter made locally at a wee brewery in Virgina. Below is a picture of my lovely field assistant, Dr Chaput, assisting me at one of our field sites.
The field site shown above is from a pub called Rock Bottom which, bizarrely, is one of a chain of microbreweries - only in America could you take something which is supposed to be grassroots and turn it into a chain! On our first visit to this field site, we saw that there were 7 or 8 different beers on offer - a brown ale, red ale, run-of-the-mill lager, an IPA, a I-can't-believe-it's-not-a-German Weiss beer, and a couple of others. Each of these beers were actually rather tasty, apart from the brown beer which tasted just a little bit too much like brown ale for my taste (I hate Newcastle Brown Ale). What was even more surprising was that Dom enjoyed most of these beers as well, her favourites being the red ale and the blonde beer.
Further field trips have yielded a very interesting and delicious ale made from pumpkins, from the very oddly-named Dogfish head brewery, found in Delaware (east coast, roughly in the middle). There have also been some good offerings from a wee Brewery in Colorado with the slightly country & western sounding name of Blue Moon Brewing company. Although the name of the brewery puts me in mind of a guy called Hank singing Honky Tonk blues because his dog shat in his pick-up truck and his wife ran off with his brother, the beers themselves are quite pleasant.
So far, I've only had a chance to sample maybe 1 or 2 dozen different beers, so this research project is still in its infancy. However, preliminary findings indicate that some very agreeable beers can be found in this oversized country of extremes, if you're willing to take a bit of time to explore and talk to people. I've head of more microbreweries nearby which I will have to seek out and sample (research often involves personal sacrifice), but so far so good...
P.S. Bud and Miller are both carbonated, chilled urine, but most Americans would agree.
P.P.S. In the US, Budvar is called "Czechvar" in this country. Ridiculous, but funny.
P.P.P.S. I can't report much about USian wine yet, because I've been too excited trying all the South American Malbecs...
This snobbery, at least on my own part, was based on the "big" American beers like Miller, Coors and the Bud family. Although a sample size of 3 is sufficient to calculate a standard deviation and allow statistical inferences to be made, it is not necessarily a representative sample. So, purely in the interests of science, I have spent much of the last 5 weeks expanding my sample size to try and allow firmer conclusions to be made about American beer. Some people would call this being a piss-head, but as I was drinking in the innocent pursuit of fundamental truth, I call this field-work. In fact, I am doing field work right now, with a rather delicious Porter made locally at a wee brewery in Virgina. Below is a picture of my lovely field assistant, Dr Chaput, assisting me at one of our field sites.
The field site shown above is from a pub called Rock Bottom which, bizarrely, is one of a chain of microbreweries - only in America could you take something which is supposed to be grassroots and turn it into a chain! On our first visit to this field site, we saw that there were 7 or 8 different beers on offer - a brown ale, red ale, run-of-the-mill lager, an IPA, a I-can't-believe-it's-not-a-German Weiss beer, and a couple of others. Each of these beers were actually rather tasty, apart from the brown beer which tasted just a little bit too much like brown ale for my taste (I hate Newcastle Brown Ale). What was even more surprising was that Dom enjoyed most of these beers as well, her favourites being the red ale and the blonde beer.
Further field trips have yielded a very interesting and delicious ale made from pumpkins, from the very oddly-named Dogfish head brewery, found in Delaware (east coast, roughly in the middle). There have also been some good offerings from a wee Brewery in Colorado with the slightly country & western sounding name of Blue Moon Brewing company. Although the name of the brewery puts me in mind of a guy called Hank singing Honky Tonk blues because his dog shat in his pick-up truck and his wife ran off with his brother, the beers themselves are quite pleasant.
So far, I've only had a chance to sample maybe 1 or 2 dozen different beers, so this research project is still in its infancy. However, preliminary findings indicate that some very agreeable beers can be found in this oversized country of extremes, if you're willing to take a bit of time to explore and talk to people. I've head of more microbreweries nearby which I will have to seek out and sample (research often involves personal sacrifice), but so far so good...
P.S. Bud and Miller are both carbonated, chilled urine, but most Americans would agree.
P.P.S. In the US, Budvar is called "Czechvar" in this country. Ridiculous, but funny.
P.P.P.S. I can't report much about USian wine yet, because I've been too excited trying all the South American Malbecs...
Wednesday 5 October 2011
Wid ye credit it!?
Hi, I'm Mick. I've just moved to the DC area and it turns out that the USA is actually a completely foreign country and feels far more alien than France, Germany, Spain or, yes, even more alien than Oxford!
So, the economy in the USA is based on credit. In order to get credit, one must have a good credit history, but to get a good credit history, one must first get credit. Coming from the UK, where I have quite an awesome credit rating, it was a bit of a shock to learn that my UK credit rating counts for exactly nothing, even with companies with whom I have had a relationship in the UK for many, many years (fuck you very much, Barclaycard!). It turns out that data protection laws generally prevent EU-based companies from sending your credit file abroad. That's the excuse anyway.
I tried being extra-prepared and bringing my credit report with me but this also didn't help because I assumed that the bank folk would have an ability to think and act independently. However, if the computer says no credit, then that's pretty much that. What I found really weird though is that I was offered a car loan before a credit card....
Crazy. Absolutely mental. And don't get me started on cars...
So, the economy in the USA is based on credit. In order to get credit, one must have a good credit history, but to get a good credit history, one must first get credit. Coming from the UK, where I have quite an awesome credit rating, it was a bit of a shock to learn that my UK credit rating counts for exactly nothing, even with companies with whom I have had a relationship in the UK for many, many years (fuck you very much, Barclaycard!). It turns out that data protection laws generally prevent EU-based companies from sending your credit file abroad. That's the excuse anyway.
I tried being extra-prepared and bringing my credit report with me but this also didn't help because I assumed that the bank folk would have an ability to think and act independently. However, if the computer says no credit, then that's pretty much that. What I found really weird though is that I was offered a car loan before a credit card....
Secured credit cards are my favourite new thing to hate. Basically, banks will offer you a credit card if you give them a deposit to secure the card. Which sounds fair enough. Except that the deposit is expected to cover the entire credit limit. So you give the bank, say, $500 or $1000 of your cash. They then hold on to that and give you a card of the same limit, with a very unpleasant interest rate. The idea is that you demonstrate your ability to maintain a line of credit by your responsible use of the card. The reality is that you give the bank an interest-free loan for a year in order to bribe them to say you're creditworthy. And that's assuming you're not daft enough to actually leave a balance on the card and be billed >20% interest when the bank LENDS YOU YOUR OWN CASH.
Crazy. Absolutely mental. And don't get me started on cars...
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